Trusting God Even When $72,000 Debt is in Your Future
As the reality of college continues to grow more and more real so does the reality that I will most likely live the majority of my life in debt, as I will graduate from college with approximately $72,000 worth of student loan debt. This is a very scary thing in my life and as I have the entirety of my life planned out this freaks me out even more because I definitely didn't account for $72,000 when I said okay Ministry major at Greenville University, I just listened to God and that's where I felt led and the major where I was called. I didn't account for $72,000 worth of debt way back in the summer going into my Freshman year when I accepted the call from God to be a pastor, but that's the funny thing about God... he doesn't want or need us to account for the variables in our lives. We are told in Matthew 6:31 and then skipping 32 and going right into 33 “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.” We should not focus on worrying, or entertainment, or money, but rather Jesus, and where our treasure is, there our hearts will also be. "
This verse is really easy to preach but really hard to live by, I might not care about what to eat or drink or wear all of the time, but I can guarantee you all that I am constantly freaking out about some variable of the future, which is normally money. I want financial security and even though I know that God will provide I still often feel that I must achieve this goal on my own- to reach financial security and thus be able to live happily. But I do not need to do this on my own- in fact, I CANNOT do this on my own. I must fully rely on God and accept the fact that he will provide for me. In Philippians 4:19 the Bible tells us "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory forever and ever. Amen."
God will meet all of my needs and I know this as fact because in my own life it has been proven to me. Ever since I got my job at Taco Bell back in October of 2015, I had always felt called to sponsor a child. I worked 4-5 days a week and definitely could have afforded to sponsor a child, but in my childless, I said "No God". "No God, I cannot afford to sponsor a child, I can barely afford to sponsor myself." These lies I would tell myself as I indulged in fast food every day and as I took multiple trips to the mall per week to continue to buy clothes that I did not need just to try to look nicer and fancier. All the while there were Children all around the world just needing $30 a month to live...the amount of a dress shirt, the amount I spent multiple times throughout a week just to look fancier, how selfish and pitiful I truly was. I continued this through my Junior year until I decided in my Senior year I would work only one day a week to pay for gas to and from places because I had an internship two days of the week and I wanted to apply myself more to quizzing and to God, and also to apply for tons of scholarships.
On the way back from my internship on a Wednesday night, I was listening to K-LOVE and they were doing their pledge drive. A woman came on and said something along the lines of "If God is telling you to give money to something, I don't care what it is. If it is to K-LOVE or not, if God is telling you to give that money, give it, because God will provide!"At the moment I knew that I was called to sponsor a child, I went online that night and through prayer, I decided to sponsor a very young girl from Kenya. I didn't know how I could afford this but God told me to do this and so I did. The next day I needed to fill up my gas tank and the Pastor that I intern with led me to a gas station where he got out and paid for my gas of $32! That is $2 over what it costs for me to sponsor this child, this is wonderful evidence that God will provide! I have had no problems sponsoring her in the months to come as Jesus continues to come through, so why can't I just give in and truly lay that $72,000 in his hands? I can. I am writing this because I have. Tonight, on March 1, 2018, exactly 3 months before I graduate from high school, I am fully putting that $72,000 into the hands of Christ. He tells me to trust him for he will provide, and so I will! This burden that has hindered me for this past year has finally been turned over to God as we are all called to not worry about anything but to trust in him. Matthew 6:33-34 says "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself, Each day has enough trouble of its own. " And that is exactly what I'm doing, I will no longer worry about tomorrow (the future) but rather fully rely on God.
Prayer:
Dear Lord Jesus,
Tonight I pray for true faith,
To truly accept that when you say "I've got this",
That you truly have got this.
Lord I pray for my future and that I do lay down my life for you,
and that you can truly live through me and in result I stop worrying about things that do not matter.
I should worry about the fact that I don't spend enough time in your word, not about $72,000 in the future.
I should focus on being in prayer with you truly "continually" and stop focussing on where I'll get some money to be self-sustained.
I need not worry for I have you, and in you all things are possible, especially the measly $72,000 of debt that you will lead me to deal with in someway
or possibly just take away that burden.
Lord, whatever your will may be, I pray that I follow it, that I truly focus on and trust you.
In Jesus Name I Pray,
Amen.